At NLP Tool Up, all real life case histories are confidential. The following is a simulation. It has not happened. It gives you an idea what might happen in a client session:

Olivia is a working mother. She is concerned that increasingly her 16 year old daughter is growing fractious. Olivia foresees that at some point she and her daughter won't be able to get on at all. She is willing to do whatever it takes to avoid this.

Session 1 is spent finding out more about Olivia, her life, her priorities and those of her daughter. This gives Olivia time to get used to the setting and ask questions. Olivia rarely socialises with other parents of teenagers but she is aware that some of her problems are common with girls at that age. Others reflect conflicts within her marriage. Moreover Olivia and her daughter have very different personalities.

Session 2: Olivia is guided through an exercise to allow her to see the world through her daughter's eyes. Olivia steps into her shoes. At the same time she is prompted to think creatively. In her mind she travels far outside her usual box. Her husband's perspective and interests are taken into account. Olivia finds this exercise intense and revealing. There is a distinct 'aha' moment.

Session 3: Olivia arrives looking more animated and less worn than previously. Much of the tension in her face has relaxed. She says that things at home are shifting. Increasingly she talks about her husband and how her perception of marriage has changed over the years. There seems to be a process of internal emotional updating.

Session 4: Olivia is much more confident about the future with her daughter. The fear of some terrible showdown, a destructive uncontrollable bust-up has left her. She and her daughter are increasingly talking through things instead of descending into dramatic confrontations. Olivia tells how new these talks feel to her. She is acquiring a whole new language which allows her to explain, persuade or compromise rather than each being stuck in her own point of view.

She has shown her daughter the exercise of walking in someone else's shoes. This is a very specific intervention with carefully choreographed positions and tools, including synesthesias to increase creativity. Her daughter in turn has shared the process with her friends with interesting and refreshing results. It is not uncommon that people become enthusiastic about certain NLP interventions and spread them, causing a wave of inspiration. This openness to share in itself fortifies the relationship with her daughter.

Session 5: Olivia is guided to look to the future when her daughter will leave home. Olivia is aware of the approaching empty nest but also excited about becoming freer to do new things.